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(plainclothes Baltimore police officer wearing a "bodymore murderland" t-shirt)

If the drain of reading about people being "up early for work! soo tired!" and 20 minutes later "thinking Starbucks might just be my new religion!" gets to be too much, don't worry. There's more out there than the same old "trending topics" pointing you towards a stream of people with nothing better to do than chime in with their one-line epiphanies about "things they'll never forget."

Better to follow something of substance, like the Baltimore Police Department. Deep sips of drank provided hourly. Let's take a trip down memory lane (i.e. the past couple days).

1. MEDIA ADVISORY: Chief of Patrol John Skinner will be @ the Gilmore event @ Pressman and Mount St @ 630pm to speak abt Nat Night Out. about 20 hours ago from UberTwitter
2. AGGRAVATED ASSAULT: W.Lombard/Fulton St-Male w/ severe head trauma. about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter
3. Recruitment Event: Nat Night Out @ Stillmeadow E.F. Church, 5110 Frederick Ave. Speak directly w recruiter from 5-9 PM about a career w BPD 5:36 AM Aug 4th from UberTwitter
4. SHOOTING, 607 MELVILLE, ADULT MALE SHOT IN ARM 9:31 PM Aug 3rd from UberTwitter
5. BANK ROBBERY: 3470 ANNAPOLIS RD. BPD ARRESTED TWO SUSPECTS AND RECOVERED MONEY. 9:01 AM Aug 3rd from UberTwitter
6. HOMICIDE ARREST: Brandon Brown (B/M/19) was arrested on July 31 for July 19th murder of 16yr old Jerrod Reed. 6:20 AM Aug 3rd from UberTwitter
7. HOMICIDE ARREST: On July 31, BPD arrested Michael Akonom (W/M30) for the July 25th murder of Marcus Sanchez 6:16 AM Aug 3rd from UberTwitter
8. DOUBLE SHOOTING - 800 BLK ALLENDALE ST, POLICE INVESTIGATING 10:07 AM Aug 2nd from TwitterBerry
9. SHOOTING: 2715 SPELMAN RD, ADULT MALE SHOT POLICE INVESTIGATING 7:58 AM Aug 2nd from TwitterBerry

Be sure to check out the addresses on Google Maps Street View, it'll help you more closely connect with the bullet-point you've just read (about).

And if you feel like you're craving more, I've good news for you: they update often.